The end was in sight!
At 39 weeks, I was going to get to hold my sweet baby boy in my arms instead of in my belly!
Thursday- Doctor stripped my membranes and I just knew this was going to do the trick! Labor, here I come!
Friday- Woke up pregnant; cried and cried and cried! Then, we walked and walked and walked. Labor didn't come on, but I consoled myself by focusing on the Back Up Plan (i.e the induction set to take place the next day if I hadn't already delivered...)
Saturday- All I had to do was call the hospital at 5:30 in the morning, and they'd tell me when to come in and have my baby. It was going to be a dang good day! One phone call later and I was sobbing my eyes out! They were just too full and couldn't do an induction when they needed to reserve their last few rooms for women who were truly in need. My sweet, sweet husband was so good to me. He just held me and let me be sad. I tried to reason with myself and thank God for unanswered prayers; tried to trust and rejoice in his timing... But, I grew increasingly emotional and uncomfortable until 9 o'clock rolled around and I decided to visit my doctors office. I just wanted to know if all this discomfort was from the membrane stripping, or if I could perhaps be progressing towards labor. Maybe I could even get the doctor to take pity on me and arrange for the hospital to give me one of those last coveted rooms... I was alas a blessed 4 centimeters dilated and the doctor assured me that one way or another I'd be having this baby today.
At 12:30pm my contractions were strong enough to make me cranky while they lasted. Since my awesome mother in law had made it into town from Colorado, we left her with our toddler and drove to the hospital.
By 1:00pm we were checked into a delivery room, and chatted to the nurse while we waited for the doctor to finish up in surgery.
At 1:50pm I was dilated to 5 centimeters, Doc broke my water and very soon after I decided that though I really, really believe in natural child birth- I absolutely wanted that epidural. Hey, I believe in healthy eating but I still eat cake! That epidural would never come, contractions were coming one on top of another and there wasn't going to be time for any sort of pain killers. Heck, the nurse was just hopeful that the doctor would make it back in time to deliver as he was again caught up with the surgery patient.
In the meantime I tried everything I could think of to get out of having to go through with this labor and delivery. I would tell the nurses: I'm too hungry, I changed my mind, I'd rather go home, I don't actually even want this baby...They just smiled and nodded and encouraged me to breathe. At one point, there was a general cheer in the room that the doctor had arrived. I won back the undivided attention by letting out a dramatized little sob of pain. I vaguely remember starting up a conversation with my husband about vasectomies.
A little bit later I felt that urge to push and doc saw it in my eyes. Up until this point I had been laboring standing up. I found that being able to move around, and have my husband apply counter pressure to my lower back during contractions, was the only way I could handle all the pain. But now, Doc was trying to argue me onto the hospital bed. “I can deliver your baby with you standing,” he told me, “but- it makes for sort of an awkward delivery…”
No, I didn’t want to deliver my baby standing and risk him falling into the world head first. But, I didn’t want to get on that bed because getting on that bed meant I’d have to push and pushing a baby out hurts like nothing else! (I remembered from the last time I had to do it!) The nurses joined in the argument by telling me that pushing is a better sort of pain because I could do something about the hurt, I could be in control of it to an extent. I gave in and climbed onto that bed. I asked if this was going to take me five more minutes, or an hour. Doc's response that it was all up to me was the motivation I needed to put my whole self into those last few pushes. I was startled over the woman screaming; even more surprised when I realized it was me! In all of 12 minutes I pushed my baby into the world.
At 3:09 My beautiful son was born. We heard him cry, his daddy cut the umbilical cord, and our little S.J. was placed into my arms.
My favorite part: “Did you all see that?” my doctor was the first to speak, “that mom moment?” I glanced up at him and I saw the reason he is a doctor reflecting in his eyes as he delivered my placenta and finished his thought, “that instant in which she went from worrying all about herself to caring for nothing else besides that baby.”And, he was right. Nothing else mattered except for that tiny infant in my arms.
|Cutting the umbilical cord.|
I love this little boy!
|The awesome team who helped bring my son into this world.|
|One exhausted, and very proud father.|
|Kisses from big sister; what a happy first meeting!|
|First Family Portrait|