Just a quick, last post to say goodbye. I have LOVED my blogging experience and treasure the friendships I have made over the past couple of years. Thank you all! But, I've done some inward reflection over the weekend and I realize that I'm blogging for the wrong reason. This is embarrassing to admit, but honestly, I blog to persuade others, and myself, that I'm awesome. That I'm more than the mistakes I've made, that I'm more than a clueless young mom, that I- a Mormom- believe in and accept Jesus Christ as my savior, and that because of this belief I am filled with hope and therefore cannot pause to be sad, or scared, or missing my mom (which I often am and do!) With every post I type, I feel like I'm persuading people (friends, family, and even strangers) that I have it all together. I feel like I am arguing my beliefs and justifying my parenting and trying to be more talented than I really am. It's ridiculous! This passive aggressive approach to relationships with everyone is delusional and self destructive! I'm so concerned with trying to be great that I am always tearing myself down and often don't let me just be me. Slowly, without me even knowing it, I've set exhausting expectations for myself and I'm ready to let them go. If this quote rings true (and I apologize for not knowing who originally said it) then I'm ready to be silent. Silent and happy and content, with my focus on my children and my husband and a heart guided quietly by my loving Lord.
It's like what Oz learned at the end of the film Oz Great and Powerful, there is something even better than greatness: goodness. Fixing my priorities starting today. So, good bye friends!